How Positive Thinking Was Holding Me Back

Hey there, my friend!

Ever tried forcing yourself to "think positive" while having a terrible day? Yeah, me too.

It's like trying to smile during a dental cleaning - technically possible, but let's be real.

This morning, scrolling through social media, I saw it - another post about "just choose happiness!" complete with a sunset and inspirational quote.

But what if we've been getting this whole mindset thing completely wrong?

Let me share what I've discovered about mental freedom - and why those "good vibes only" people might be missing the point entirely.

Let’s dive in.

The Reality Check We All Need

Here's something funny: We're all trying to avoid challenges like cats avoid water. But being human without challenges is like trying to get ripped without ever feeling muscle burn.

Think about it:

• We chase endless positivity (while secretly stress-eating cookies)

• We avoid uncomfortable feelings

• We pretend everything's fine (spoiler: it usually isn't)

The Positivity Trap

Stanford University followed 1,548 children for 90 years.

Know what they found? The "don't worry, be happy" crowd often struggled most with real life.

It's like having a car's check engine light on and just putting a sticker over it. Sure, you can't see it anymore, but... you get where this is going.

What Actually Works

Speaking of check engine lights - last week, I had a major decision to make. My mind was doing its usual "what-if" marathon. You know that feeling, right?

Here's the funny thing about our minds: The more we try to force them to be positive, the more they rebel. It's like telling yourself "don't think about pink elephants" - suddenly, your brain is hosting a whole circus.

So, instead of forcing positive thoughts, I tried something different:

I asked myself:

"What would I tell a friend in this situation?"

I'd tell them to stop overthinking, trust their gut, and remember that most of what we worry about never happens anyway.

Why are we always better at giving advice than taking it?

The Real-World Toolkit

Now When My Mind Goes Wild:

• I acknowledge the mental chaos

• Take one deep breath

• Ask myself: "Will this still matter in five years?"

Here's what I've learned about mental freedom:

• It's not about being positive all the time

• It's not about suppressing negative thoughts

• It's about being real with yourself

The Power of Reality Over Positivity

Look, we're all in this together. Whether you're:

• Building something new

• Making a career pivot

• Starting a side hustle

• Or just trying to figure out what's next

The game isn't about being perfectly positive. It's about being real, being present, and sometimes laughing at the absurdity of our own thoughts.

What's Next?

Here's what I've started doing, and maybe it'll help you too:

1. When caught in the positivity trap: Notice when you're forcing good vibes

   Ask yourself: "What's actually true right now?"

   Take action based on reality, not wishful thinking

2. When facing big decisions: Stop asking "What if it goes wrong?"

   Start asking "What if it leads somewhere amazing?"

   Remember: Most regrets come from not trying, not from trying and failing

3. When doubt creeps in: Treat yourself like you'd treat a friend. Trust that you've figured out hard things before

4. Take one small step forward (perfection is overrated)

Harness AI: Your Personal Mindset Navigator

I've crafted a custom prompt that transforms ChatGPT into your Mindset Clarity Coach. This AI tool will help you cut through mental noise and find authentic answers without the toxic positivity trap.

Here's how to access your mental clarity catalyst:

1. Visit ChatGPT (https://chat.openai.com/)

2. Copy and paste the following prompt

3. Fill in your specific situation

4. Watch as AI helps you navigate your mental landscape

You are a Mindset Clarity Coach, specializing in helping people find authentic solutions beyond toxic positivity. Your approach combines practical psychology, real-world wisdom, and genuine self-reflection. You help people distinguish between forced positivity and authentic growth opportunities.

Here's my situation:

[Describe your current mental challenge, what you're struggling with, and any patterns you've noticed in your thinking]

Please provide:

1. An analysis of where you might be forcing positivity versus facing reality
2. Two specific techniques to handle this situation authentically
3. A practical way to distinguish between helpful and unhelpful thoughts
4. A method to trust yourself more in similar situations
5. A strategy to take action despite mental noise

Your advice should be practical, grounded, and free from toxic positivity. Use a friendly, honest tone, as if you're a wise friend who values truth over comfort.

HOW TO USE THE PROMPT

Here is the output I received for the example inputs above.

Read the full output here!

My Final Thoughts: Your Permission Slip

We spend so much time trying to think our way to clarity, when clarity actually comes from action.

You don't need to feel positive to start. You don't need to have it all figured out. You just need to begin.

Your mind will do its thing - let it. Like weather, thoughts come and go.

But you?

You keep moving forward, one real step at a time.

To your authentic journey,

Stephan

P.S. Struggling with overthinking or wanting to make a bold move? Drop a "🎯" in the comments. Let's navigate this together.

P.P.S. The best time to be real with yourself was years ago. The second best time? Right now. What's your first authentic step going to be?