Why Your 'Success' Feels Empty (And How to Find Your Light)

Hey there, my friend!

Last night, something funny happened.

Sitting in my dimly lit room, reading messages from my old colleagues still grinding away in Singapore's financial district, I had to smile.

Because just over a year ago, I was there too - trapped in that shiny corporate cage, making six figures, "succeeding" by everyone else's standards.

But man, was I lost in the dark.

Here's why I'm writing to you today...

I discovered something wild about why that corner office view of Marina Bay feels more like a prison cell than success. About why those early morning calls and late-night emails left you feeling empty, no matter how fat your bonus gets.

Last year, I quit. Packed up my life. Left Singapore. Everyone thought I was crazy.

"You're giving up a six-figure job? In this economy?"

But here's what nobody tells you about success and fulfillment...

Let’s dive in.

You know that feeling on Sunday nights?

When your fancy apartment feels like a cage, and your mind starts racing about Monday's meetings?

I watched something fascinating recently that explained why we're all getting this "success" thing backwards.

See, life is like a dark room. And most of us think getting that promotion, closing that deal, or hitting that salary goal will be our light switch.

Spoiler alert: It won't.

I learned this the hard way in Singapore. Each "achievement" was just another candle - bright for a moment, then fading fast, leaving me hunting for the next one.

Project deadlines. Performance reviews. Bonus seasons.

The wild part? Even when I was killing it at work, my Sundays between 10 AM and 2 PM were pure misery. Just me, my thoughts, and my growing sense that something was off.

Scientists actually found this is when most people feel most miserable - those empty hours when your mind has nothing to chase.

Why?

Because we've got it all backwards.

Most of us are chasing goals someone else wrote for us:

• Get the prestigious job ✓

• Hit the six-figure mark ✓

• Climb the corporate ladder ✓

But here's the truth bomb that changed everything for me...

Real fulfillment isn't about forcing yourself to be "disciplined" in a life you hate. It's about becoming someone who naturally does what lights them up.

Take it from someone who lived both sides of this story:

Working 12-hour days in Asian finance? Sure, I was "disciplined." Project deadlines, client meetings, endless Excel sheets - I crushed them all.

But I was just really good at following someone else's script.

Here's what hits different:

When I finally jumped off the corporate treadmill last year, something clicked. That same "discipline" people praised me for? It started flowing naturally into things that actually mattered.

My morning meditation isn't discipline - it's who I am now. My daily writing isn't force - it's freedom. Building my business isn't work - it's play.

But here's what nobody in the personal development world tells you:

You can't just quit your job tomorrow and expect magic. That's not how this works. (Trust me, I tried everything first - even created an AI girlfriend that made money. Yeah, that happened. Story for another time...)

The real game-changer is something I call the "Anti-Vision Exercise."

Instead of fantasizing about what you want, start by getting crystal clear on what you DON'T want:

• Living for Friday nights

• Checking emails at 3 AM

• Missing another family event for a "urgent" meeting

• Feeling your soul die a little in every status update

Because once you know what you're running FROM, what you're running TOWARD becomes blindingly clear.

So here's what worked for me (and no, I'm not going to tell you to "follow your passion" - we both know that's BS):

1. The Identity Audit

   Every night before bed, I'd ask myself:

• What felt heavy today?

• What made time fly?

• Who am I being vs. who am I becoming?

2. The Clarity Game

   I started small:

• No phone for the first hour after waking up

• One core goal each day (instead of my usual 20)

• Said "no" to after-work drinks I didn't want

3. The Natural Flow

   Instead of forcing myself to be "more productive," I built environments that made success inevitable:

• Moved my phone to another room

• Set up my desk to face the sunrise

• Found people who made growth feel normal

But look, I get it.

You're probably thinking: "Cool story, but I've got bills to pay and golden handcuffs to deal with."

Fair enough. That's why I created something special for you.

Your AI Identity Architect

I've crafted a custom prompt that transforms ChatGPT into your Identity Coach.

Here's how to access it:

1. Visit ChatGPT (https://chat.openai.com/)

2. Copy and paste the following prompt

3. Fill in your specific background information

4. Watch as AI helps you navigate your identity

Your role is to act as an Identity Evolution Coach, specialized in helping high-achieving professionals align their actions with their emerging identity. 

(insert comprehensive background information here to tailor the approach)

**Areas for Analysis:**
- Current identity: Evaluate current behaviors, habits, and roles.
- Desired identity: Define the professional's vision of who they are becoming.
- Barriers: Identify what's keeping them stuck.
- Resources: Determine where their time and energy currently go.
- Inspiration: Recognize activities that light them up but are rarely pursued.

**Your Task:**

Provide actionable insights on the following:

- Perform a gap analysis between the current and desired identities.
- Describe two environmental changes that will support their personal evolution.
- Propose a daily practice to strengthen their emerging identity.
- Develop a strategy for navigating peer pressure.
- Identify warning signs that indicate slipping back into old patterns.

Ensure your advice is direct, practical, and focuses on a gradual transition while prioritizing the maintenance of financial stability.

HOW TO USE THE PROMPT

Here is the output I received for the example inputs above.

Read the full output here!

And here's the truth...

That beautiful office view in Singapore's financial district? It's just another dark room. But you don't need someone else's candle to find your way.

Your future self isn't sitting in meetings at 8 PM. Your future self isn't checking emails on vacation. Your future self isn't living someone else's definition of success.

The world doesn't need another stressed-out finance pro. It needs you - fully alive, fully expressed, doing work that matters.

To your real success,

Stephan

P.S. The darkness isn't permanent. But staying still is a choice.

P.P.S. I love to hear about your story. Please reply to this email and tell me more! We are on this journey together.